Dracula Untold

As I was watching this train wreck of a movie, I started thinking that someone needs to step up and make a Count Chocula movie. That could be fun; he seems like an interesting guy, and it could co-star Franken Berry and Boo Berry. Fruit Brute could even make a cameo. Trust me, it would be a far more entertaining movie than this suckfest. Luke Evans (“The Hobbit”) plays Vlad Dracula, aka Vlad the Impaler, aka The Prince of Transylvania. Instead of the usual brooding and menacing character we’re accustomed to, this story presents Dracula as an enraged ass-kicking warrior. He’s in the midst of warring with the Turks when he’s bitten by a vampire (Charles Dance from “Game of Thrones”) in a mountain hideaway. Predictable CGI special effects overpower the near incomprehensible script, and you’ll forget movie’s title before you walk out. Pass the cereal, please.