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Some final thoughts on the general-election campaigns

Stuff that stands out from this nasty-ass campaign:

The Carmona Woman: Jeff Flake's campaign dug up some woman who was Richard Carmona's superior while Carmona was surgeon general. That's weird, because I would think that being surgeon general would put you at the top of that particular food chain. But the political appointee, Dr. Cristina Beato (who never did get confirmed by the Senate), was indeed Carmona's boss, which, to me, makes him more like the surgeon second lieutenant.

Anyway, she claims that he once knocked on her door late at night, and from that, she concludes that he has issues with anger and with women. I'm not usually that big on gossip, but I'd love to know what really happened. Mostly, I'd like to know how she does that freakin' zombie thing into the camera. Watch the commercial, and you'll see that she blinks exactly 1 1/2 times in 30 seconds. That's not human.

I didn't have time to decorate the house for Halloween this year, so I just put a laptop out in the front yard and played the Cristina Beato commercial over and over. Scared the crap out of the neighborhood kids.

The Re-taking of America: Over the past few weeks, I have asked 37 Republicans, many (but not all) of whom have uttered the phrase "take back America," exactly from whom they want to take back the country. A solid plurality (16 of them) answered with, "Well, you know."

Yeah, I do know. The Darkie.

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats, Part 1: When Mitt Romney clearly out-dueled President Obama in the first debate, the Democrats were the first to admit it. The folks on MSNBC were devastated, and Chris Matthews was livid with the president's lackluster performance. While the people over at Fox were partying like it was 1959, the Dems were saying, "Our guy had better pull his head out and win the final two debates."

So, when the president came back and won the final two debates (the second one by a relatively close margin, and the third one in a blowout), Democrats said, "It's about damn time," while Republicans incredibly claimed that Romney had prevailed. For example, columnist Charles Krauthammer ruined what little credibility he had left when he claimed that Romney won the final debate.

I hate that. It's like playing tennis with a guy who cheats when he calls lines. The people who occupy that insular world of Fox News and Sean Hannity need to poke their head out into the real world every now and then. They may not like what they see, but it will be good for them in the long run.

There was a great political cartoon in The Salt Lake Tribune. In one panel, under the words, "When Democrats Lose a Debate," is a woman saying, "Obama blew it!" In the next panel, under, "When Republicans Lose a Debate," is a guy doing his best impression of John Belushi in The Blues Brothers: "The questions weren't fair! It's the moderator's fault! It's the pollsters' fault! Obama cast a Muslim curse! We won the debate!"

Time Waster: One of the worst political ads is one that said, "Ron Barber was supposed to fix Washington ..."

Really?! In the week-and-a-half that he was actually there? He got elected in mid-June, and Congress has been in recess just about ever since. He didn't have time to fix anything. Heck, he didn't even have time to break anything.

The Looming Electoral College Mess: There is a very real chance that for the second time in 12 years, we might have one presidential candidate win the popular vote, while the other guy becomes president. The Electoral College is beyond a joke.

There is also the possibility that the Electoral College vote will end in a 269-269 tie. In that case, the House of Representatives would vote to make Mitt Romney president, making come true the wish of the guy I saw at a Romney rally wearing a shirt that read, "Put the white back in the White House."

What a lot of Americans don't know is that, in such a case, the Senate picks the vice president. Since the Dems will likely control the Senate, that would make for a Romney-Biden team. One talking head on Fox said that, in such a case, he would expect Biden to step aside for Paul Ryan.

Oh, hell no!

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats, Part 2: I was tutoring a kid the other day, and he asked, with all sincerity, what the difference was between Republicans and Democrats. I responded that while everybody will pay lip service to the welfare of the country as a whole, generally, a Republican will look at a presidential candidate and ask, "What can this guy do for me?" while a Democrat will look at the same person and say, "What can this guy do for other people?"

That pretty much sums up the stark difference between the two guys who are looking to get elected come Tuesday.

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