Did you ever once stop to think of the cancer sufferers, David? No, you were too busy attacking vastly more popular writers than yourself in order to big note yourself with ill-reasoned clickbait.
So congratulations, you have successfully leached your way to one standard deviation above the threshold of obscurity. No doubt there will be a party in the Tucson Weekly 'offices' tonight...
Is this article satire?
I mean, it sounds implausibly hysterical, so I figure it must be.
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