The Desert Pup 
Member since Jun 25, 2010


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Re: “Underperformer

Great review!! Kill them with honest reality. People in Tucson do NOT wish to spend $322 for dinner. For many, that grotesque amount is one month's food supply at home, including a very sufficient supply of very decent "jug" wine. Try the Barefoot Cellars 1.5 LT Pinot Grigio or Pinot Noir at Total Wine for $7.97. And learn how to cook.

I am from originally San Francisco, which is by any definition, a foodie's paradise in quality, innovation, service, wine, & decor. Even at the most difficult of restaurants to get a reservation, and even at the most expensive places, one could not remotely approach a $322 dinner tab for two!

This Five Palms gouge will have to be cut in half to even have a remote chance of survival, while the service has to double in execution! Who the hell does this guy think he is anyway? A Thomas Keller in the foothills? Thanx for the warning...

26 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by The Desert Pup on 07/18/2013 at 12:05 PM

Re: “Red Velvet Cupcakery Closes Saturday

I will tell you precisely why this over-priced, low-demand little cupcake retailer has gone belly-up & closed:

They staunchly refused to give out samples! You tell me why I should buy a $4 cupcake without a sample? Not gonna happen. So let's say the free samples cost them at maximum $1, and let's say they give away a few dozen per day to get customers addicted to the wonderful little treats, and to get good will for a return visit. Monthly cost at the absolute max. = $750.

These cheap bastards refused to sample the cupcakes, and now they are deep in debt, have no way to pay all the back high rent, and the business model has failed...

It was a no-brainer...samples equals desire, equals purchase, equals paid rent, equals more locations. Stubborn cheap bastards deserve to close. End of story. Great cupcakes!! I will miss them. Too bad, so sad...bye-bye.

Posted by The Desert Pup on 11/11/2011 at 12:00 AM

Re: “Takeout, Maybe?

Wow - What an honest and brutal review. Finally some truth out of these reviewers. So let me summarize; I'm supposed to drive all the way downtown (22 miles) just to be young and hip, struggle with safe parking, and then end up at what seems to be a glorified ice cream shop...with lousy service, well-done burgers, and no doubt a hipper-than-thou attitude? Guess what! NOT GONNA HAPPEN. Not now, not ever. I can do way better at home, for 1/3 the price and zero aggravation.

Listen up, Kade, & start firing some of these slacker wannabe servers. And fire any Chef / cook who does well-done meat. Gimme a break. This place could be so much better because the owner, Kade, is very sincere, highly-experienced and well-intentioned. I hope he survives this review.

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by The Desert Pup on 06/02/2011 at 11:13 AM

Re: “Devilish Details

I simply want to know exactly what are many of these so-called restaurant owners thinking? Do they really think all of us, who enjoy dining out, are so dumb, uninformed, and clueless as to tolerate crummy service, inconsistant food, rude servers and a total lack of professional attitude?

Last time I took notice, the greatest majority of people are suffering greatly financially...for sake of simplicity, let's just call this a DEPRESSION...And if somehow we do get to dine out, it had better be worth the $75-$100 it will cost you for two people, food, a glass of wine or two, tax & tip.

If I walked into this mainly empty new Elle, and was seated at a tiny two-top, I would automatically know that this was going to be a nightmare, and a complete waste of my money. Get real - lose the skimpy two-tops. If I am not good enough for a comfortable, quiet booth, then exactly who were you holding out for? Imam Obama?

I used to dine at the original Elle, but these reviews have done nothing to encourage me to drive ALL the way across town on $3.75 gas to get insulted, denied, and diasappointed. Good luck to the owners of all of these type of places. I do not need any of them, nor do most people...I say WAKE UP!! Get aggressive. Get up and leave!!

Thanx for reading. Try a local franchise chain...at least they have standards.

Posted by The Desert Pup on 04/01/2011 at 10:55 PM

Re: “Playing It Safe

Wow...we actually have a live wire from NYC critiqing the restaurant scene here. It might make for interesting reading, as most all of the reviews I read in our two local papers are glowing & gushing with praise about the decor, or some other meaningless aspect...

Many major city newspapers are, and should be, downright vicious in their reviews. It not only makes for much better reading, but it makes these crappy restaurants wake up.

Just in case no one has paid attention, we are in a depression here, and no one is anxious to spend $25 bux (and more) per person for lousy service, mediocre food, and glowing decor. I can do much better right here at home. Many of our better restaurants have lost my business in recent years with their snotty attitudes and over-priced "cuisine".

As for the Cheesecake Factory, I have zero interest in dining at any restaurant with a 22-page menu. They should pay me to read the dumb thing. The secret to a great restaurant is to do a few things very, very well, with consistant excellence. And cheesecake is not food; it is a heart-attack on a plate...

There might be a dozen restaurants in Tucson worth your time, effort and money... Perhaps I shall name names in a future post, but most of them are dirty rip-offs with zero appeal. Perhaps many people enjoy the chain places because at least you get clean, and some degeee of consistancy.

Merry Christmas! Now save your money and learn how to cook at home...

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by The Desert Pup on 12/23/2010 at 10:16 PM

Re: “Flying V Bar and Grill

The Flying V is in a super great location, with fantastic views and a very cool interior, with a top-flite outside patio...But...the food is very hotel-like, mostly inconsistant, and a bit over-priced. Remember who their clientele is here; out-of-town snowbirds, convention people, & those who are on a corporate expense account. If an outside restauranteur ran the Flying V, it would be so much better. Someone like Janos Wilder, Albert Hall, or even the Fox Restaurant Group, or the Zona 78 guys.

The Flying V is directly across the parking lot from Lowes's Ventana Canyon resort, and that says it all...it is just another hotel restauarant with one of the most premier locations in our valley. I say go for a margarita, and maybe the guacamole & chips (made to order at table-side), and skip the expensive dinner deal.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by The Desert Pup on 11/19/2010 at 12:07 AM

Re: “Update: Guiseppe’s Has Not Been Sold

Once again...the truth shall set you free! I am so G.D. tired of all of these owners and substitute owners lying about the truth of the deal, just to con folks into one more visit. I refuse to patronize ANY restaurant where the ownership OR the executive chef position is clouded, in doubt or otherwise vague. As I will continue to repeat; We are in a DEPRESSION, folks! Get honest or get out of town. I don't need to be lied to by anyone, let alone the man who is preparing my evening meal. I have had it. Call me cynical, call me bitter. I'll wear the label with pride, because I KNOW what is going down with all of these various restaurant con jobs. Tale it or leave it, no replies will be posted to any criticism of mine. Not now. Not ever. Buh-Byeeee...

0 likes, 2 dislikes
Posted by The Desert Pup on 11/18/2010 at 10:29 PM

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