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Comment Archives: stories: Cinema

Re: “Dark Chapter

The problem with Harry Potter 7a is that they spend all that time coddling the dying Vladimir Putin elf. That thing is ugly and they should have thrown a party after it died. "Yay! The ugly-ass thing is finally gone!" By contrast, they spent all of 2 seconds on the death of Hedwig the Angry Owl. I wasn't even sure it was dead, I thought maybe it just got zapped. But apparently there wasn't time to, you know, have two characters say, "Aw man, that owl is gone, I'm gonna miss his little beak." Because who gives a crap about a bird -- but let's all cry over Vladimir Putin in elf form?! WTF!!!

Posted by Bongo on 01/14/2011 at 11:34 PM

Re: “Dark Chapter

Your extended metaphor should be in 3-D: "We're talking slow like a depressed sloth after consuming a bottle of Jack Daniels shortly after hearing that he's lost his job following the death of the family dog."

Okay, well first of all, I want to know how a sloth got a bottle of Jack Daniels. Was he asked for his ID at the liquor store, and if so, do sloths have pockets? Also, what kind of job would a sloth have and then lose? Tantric massage? And what's this about a sloth having a dog as a pet? That makes as much sense as an armadillo having a pet ocelot.

Sorry, but maybe you should have gone the molasses in January route. Oh yeah, you're in Tucson. How about "as slow as a flat-tired bike ride to Bisbee" or some crap like that? "As slow as walking backwards up Mt. Lemon"? "As slow as road construction on Speedway"? I don't know, but jeez man.

Posted by Bongo on 01/14/2011 at 11:32 PM

Re: “Tucson's Film Experience

I once sat through a movie at the Loft, and during exciting scenes there was a tingle under my rump. I was very impressed that the Loft went to all the trouble to install electronic devices in its seats, which give you an electrifying sensation that heightens the cinematic experience. I made sure to talk to the theater manager afterward, praising her for such ambitious efforts. She told me the Loft does not have any special devices in its seats. So I went home and pulled down my pants, and it turned out there was a little man with a cattle prod, living in my underwear. I told him he can stay in my underwear as long as he prods me on a regular basis. It's a good relationship and now I am never late for work. Also, the ladies love me -- I am getting more action than ever....THANKS LITTLE MAN!

Posted by Bongo on 01/14/2011 at 11:12 PM

Re: “Brutal Realism

I always remember one scene from the Indian runner when I see a young and beautiful couple in love in the movie that Vigo Mortensen spits his mouthful of green pees over the face of Patricia Arquette, I dont know if I spell it right though, and her face turns red and bursts into crying. I thought it was terrible but at the same time so funny. It is funny because it may be a common and trite ending of lust of the beautiful or he comes off great playing such a dead-end beautiful young man. So what I can say is that "learn and practice" as the method and practice goes your way!

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by iwsk on 01/13/2011 at 3:26 AM

Re: “Tucson's Film Experience

Their success is because of their popcorn.

Posted by Da Coach on 01/07/2011 at 4:48 PM

Re: “The Real Deal

This is the best picture of the year! You will not be disappointed. It's the best picture for the Cohens and the best actor for Bridges that they did not deserve for Old Country or Crazy Heart. They yanked the trigger too early!

Posted by YesSireeBob on 01/07/2011 at 11:11 AM

Re: “Tucson's Film Experience

I suppose this expansion would be hinged on the available product to service an expansion. Is this to say that there are several viable film products that do not get shown because of the Lofts' capacity? Didn't say how many screens...

In the black is good. Stay that way. Inside Job detailed how well being leveraged at 1:33 worked out. The slightest bit of optimism and people want to spend, spend, spend themselves into insolvency.

I make a motion that the Trolley hang a left on Speedway and terminate the east extension at the LOFT!

Posted by YesSireeBob on 01/07/2011 at 10:57 AM

Re: “Center of Attention

That Gulliver put out the castle fire by pissing on it is from the book; see chapter five. And why is it that only the first voyage of the three in the book gets all of the attention?
EkW

Posted by EkW on 01/03/2011 at 12:11 PM

Re: “An Embarrassment

Great movie for 12 year olds or those with 12 year old mentalities...

btw, it's OK to make movies that are "fun"...all cinema doesn't have to be measured by Shakespeare, etc!

But...really, just go to the LOFT for "real" movies of substance!

Posted by gs85739 on 01/03/2011 at 7:47 AM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

I thought Bob Grimm's review was readable and made its arguments in the logical way I would expect from a professional review. Instead of attacking Grimm, why not explain why you liked the movie, or which of his arguments you disagree with?

Posted by Bongo on 12/18/2010 at 11:53 PM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

Grimm is an embarassment. He has no background in film. He has no clue on how to analyze or comment intelligently on the medium's primary elements: i.e acting, story, etc. His reviews are just a backwash of his own, weak, sophomoric opinions. He never really backs these opinions up with any logical proofs or cogent anaylsis. There are better reviewers to be found in high school newspapers. Tucson deserves better -- and all you would need is a dart board and a phone book to find him or her.

Posted by Expat on 12/08/2010 at 6:58 PM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

She doesn't smack his head with a shovel. She buried an axe into his head. Huge difference. Just one example of the nonsense in this "article."

Horrible written piece. Glib, sarcastic, and the writer doesn't appear too bright. No need to take notes. Just watch the films in order and it's very clear what is going on.

Posted by JaneIre on 12/01/2010 at 11:52 PM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

Wait...does this mean I'm supposed to hate "Star Wars" because it was also set in outer space like that lousy "Battlefield Earth," or love those stupid Narnia movies because they have a talking lion just like "The Wizard of Oz." As you repeated with my quote, they gave Lisbeth "little to do." Giving a movie character little to do is boring...giving them little to do in confinement settings is REALLY BORING. Don't ignore the review, everybody. Be afraid of this film. Be very afraid!

Posted by Bob Grimm on 11/23/2010 at 11:56 PM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

>The film relegates Lisbeth to hospital beds, jail cells and courtrooms,
>giving her little to do…

If movies set in hospitals, jails and courtrooms are boring for the reviewer, he must have found it pure drudgery to sit through One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, Shawshank Redemption, and To Kill a Mockingbird.

As for the piercings permitted by the "easygoing prison", perhaps Sweden has different ideas of incarceration; perhaps the reviewer should accept that the Swedes allow this and not let this detail distract him from more important points.

The movie had its faults but it was very enjoyable. Ignore the review.

Posted by ad on 11/23/2010 at 12:54 PM

Re: “Boring Nonsense

Yeah, as usual, I'm going to say read the damn books. Movies can never convey the same emotions and messages as their written counterparts.

Posted by emily on 11/19/2010 at 3:37 PM

Re: “Paris, With a Bullet

What a terrible review! Not only it destroys the fun for those who haven't seen it but also it criticizes the director's vision. And lastly, I don't care if the reviewer didn't have fun watching it! I did! I think it is one of the best movies I have seen lately and one that reminds us of the richness and identity of French filmmaking.

Posted by barboorka on 11/10/2010 at 3:36 PM

Re: “Documentary as Aggression

Gonzo, does the four-hundred-thousand-and-first documentary about the Holocaust tell us anything about it that the three-hundred-and-ninety-nine-thousandth didn't?

Posted by Aaron Em on 11/03/2010 at 11:39 AM

Re: “He Sees Dead People

How could anyone communicate with the dead while the dead is still alive? In that case the dead is still living.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by iwsk on 10/28/2010 at 7:43 AM

Re: “Documentary as Aggression

Kinda made me sick with that parting comment about the Holocaust being over documented. Just what exactly is that supposed to mean? There are already plenty of people that deny it happened. Why feed the trolls?

0 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by Gonzo Sorcrachi on 10/24/2010 at 10:06 AM

Re: “Top Ten in Movies

The Karate Kid? Really? Ugh.

Posted by cwither1 on 10/15/2010 at 1:10 PM

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