Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Apparently, Paradise Valley Rules America's Pornographic Fantasies

Posted By on Wed, Mar 13, 2013 at 12:37 PM

Though considering "Paradise Valley" already sounds like the name of a fictional village somewhere within the canon of pornographic lore, that shouldn't be surprising.


Pornography search engine PornMD (NSFW — but if you click on a link to a site named PornMD while working, you deserve to get fired) has done the world a service, sifting through undoubtedly sticky and uncomfortable stacks of search engine data to determine what the 10 most popular search terms on porn sites are over a 6 month period (and no, the word "period" is not among them).

Arizona's most popular porn search term, "teen" just surpassed "MILF" (which, for the uninitiated, is an initialism that stands for "Mother I'd Like to F—k") as of this morning, which is actually kind of surprising. I mean, the people who attend ASU Girls Gone Wild University and Casino surely aren't watching their own work, right? Aside from the film students, of course.

America's top pick though, is MILF—which must relieve the lonely housewives of both Phoenix and its affluent suburb of Paradise Valley, who now know that their hobbies aren't going unnoticed. Rounding out the rest of the US's top terms, in descending order: "teen," "college," "creampie," "massage," "asian," "pov," "amateur," "compilation," and "anal." On the off chance those happen to be answers to a quiz, you owe us beer.

We'll leave you with random search terms from around the world, because ignoring the fact that Peru searches for "just beiber (gay)" is practically criminal (our comments are bracketed):

Alaska: "lisa ann" [star of Who's Nailin' Paylin?]; Kentucky: "free gay porn" [the top search term!]; Finland: "squirt compilation"; Sweden: "massage" [seems appropriate]; Iceland: "prostate massage"; Ukraine: "Kim Kardashian"; Romania: "mom and son" [oh god why]; Czech Republic: "castrated shemale" [!!!]; Kazakhstan: "playboy mansion" [how quaint!]; Kazakhstan: "squirt machine" [there we go]; Nigeria: "things i jack off to" [straightforward]; South Africa: "poop"

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