Thursday, May 10, 2012

Oh, Those Mayans and Their Constantly Changing Calendars

Posted By on Thu, May 10, 2012 at 3:00 PM

We all suddenly have a lot more time to complete our bucket lists. That being said, I am cancelling my plans to cliff jump off Lincoln's head on Mount Rushmore this weekend.

According to online science publication LiveScience, the discovery of the world's oldest known version of the ancient Mayan calender has been found. And, thankfully — or sadly, if like me you'd restructured all your debt to be due in January 2013 — the world won't end on Dec. 21, 2012.

Instead, researchers say, the world is going to go one for a few more billion, trillion or octillion years, which means there's plenty of time for Lionsgate to greenlight my screenplay for Madea Wins The Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest.

So, if you were planning all of your upcoming doings around the destruction of Earth in a little over seven months, time to start finding things to fill up your future schedule.

And time for Arizona Daily Star parent Lee Enterprises to start thinking of another way to put off making those debt payments they keep finding ways to not have to make good on.

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