Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Presidential Candidate Peter "Simon" Bollander: "Let's Do It! I'm Old School With a New-Age Mind!"

Posted By on Tue, Jan 17, 2012 at 1:00 PM

Peter "Simon" Bollander made quite a splash in his first run for the presidency in 2008. He's back this year, although he's switched from a Democrat to a Republican and has evidently joined the Hair Club for Men.

We don't have time to go into Bollander's entire 10-Star program, but we're hoping he has time to send us an electronic version so we can share the entire plan with you. But we can tell you what we told you in 2008:


Peter Bollander boasts that he has more than 100 hours of on-camera television experience and an excellent speaking voice that can deliver heavy Jewish and Italian accents. He’s worked summer stock in Hawaii and has karate training. And he’s managed up to five people at any given time. His obvious qualifications for the White House aside, Bollander has some big ideas. Here’s one: The “Uncle Sam Sweepstakes.” Bollander proposes that lottery tickets be sold across the globe, with 10 percent of the proceeds going to the winners and 90 percent being locked in a trust fund. In just a few decades, we’d have a couple of trillion dollars to solve the nation’s financial problems—all financed by Third World residents who dream of a better life and are really bad at math.

Tags: , , , , , ,

Comments

Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-1 of 1

Add a comment

Previously in the Range

More by Jim Nintzel

Staff Pick

A Cactus Christmas

Come see this revival of a Tucson original. Can 2 families work out their difference on Christmas… More

@ The Comedy Playhouse Fridays, Saturdays, 7:30-9:30 p.m. and Sundays, 3-5 p.m. Continues through Jan. 7 3620 N. 1st Ave. Suite 154

» More Picks

Submit an Event Listing

Popular Content

  1. Betsy DeVos Set To Join the Trump Cabinet's Billionaire Boys [and Girls] Club (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  2. We Stand Together Network (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  3. You're a Wizard, Harry: A Harry Potter Ball at Your Favorite Barnes & Noble (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  4. Anti-Trump Rally at UA (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)
  5. T.H.R.E.A.T. Watch: Journalist Christiane Amanpour Is Worried (The Range: The Tucson Weekly's Daily Dispatch)

© 2016 Tucson Weekly | 7225 Mona Lisa Rd. Ste. 125, Tucson AZ 85741 | (520) 797-4384 | Powered by Foundation