What I like about Tucson is the heat, and the weirdness that the heat brings.
But, where is the heat this year? I feel almost sane, and that's insane!
I should be two-cacti-to-the-wind by now. My eyeballs should be chaffing. My chaffing should be on fire. My mind should be a cheese-melt. Instead, it's been in the 90s. What is this, Encinitas?!
I want my mind bent! I want to hallucinate! I want heat waves; mirages!
Once, in June, the rear-view mirror of my 1980s Chrysler LeBaron flopped down from the heat; the grease in the ball joint simply lost its viscosity, and the damn thing went limp. And, once, my Tupperware utensils snapped in half. I couldn't believe it! I didn't think Tupperware (registered and trademarked) would simply snap in half.
This season, however, has brought wimp-weather! I can still ride my bike without thinking about skin cancer. It's been downright spring-like, and I'm hardly a prune. Is this symptomatic of Global Cooling?
Of course, by the time I finish writing this, it'll probably be 120 degrees, and I'll be walking around downtown, going insane, imagining a giant Day of the Dead martini glass full of antifreeze and tequila ... oh, yeah ...
Varied artists bring their unique talents to APCOT. Local celebrity judges will select the artists that will… More